I just broke a pretty huge net worth milestone. When I mentioned the milestone to G, he thought about it for a second and said, “I think I’ve reached that milestone, too.” As a planner, I immediately started thinking about how long it would take to reach the next big milestone. Then, I realized, the next big milestone will probably be reached together … with combined finances.
Losing your individual net worth
After we combine finances, they’ll be combined FOREVER.
That’s great and all, but they’ll be our finances:
G’s Net Worth + Amber’s Net Worth = Our Net Worth
I’ll no longer be able to track just my net worth. I won’t be able to pride myself on increasing just my net worth every month.
I won’t be able to take all the credit anymore. G will have a hand in increasing our net worth every month now, too.
Combing success and progress
Okay, this is the sort of stuff that brings out my inner control freak. I like to be responsible for my success and my progress and my increasing net worth. And, so far, I’d say I’ve done a pretty good job of it on my own.
I can look at my net worth and say, “I did that!” But when we’re looking at a combined net worth, it won’t just be me. I won’t be able to break down exactly how much I contributed to the equation (I could, but I don’t really want to … more on that later).
After we’re married, each time our net worth rises, it will be a joint celebration (okay, so G probably won’t be stoked on a monthly basis, so I might be celebrating, uh, alone on most occasions, but that’s okay). From here on out, when our wealth increases, it will be a team effort, not an Amber effort.
Accepting the team
There’s nothing wrong with a joint celebration, right? I mean, I’ve done a lot in my 27 years of life. I’d rattle all of my accomplishments off for you right now if you wanted me to, but I don’t really have time for that (but, really, let me know if you’re interested … 😉 ).
I know I’ll be okay with combining finances and becoming a team, but it will definitely be a transition and this latest realization of combined success in wealth is kinda hard to accept.
Yes, I realize that I could very well track my own net worth for the rest of my life. I could spend hours every month pulling out MY income and MY assets and MY liabilities and determine just how much I’ve accomplished on my own over the years. But you know what, that’d be a little crazy, and it would totally defeat the purpose of a combined finance marriage.
I know that I’ll still be my own person. I’ll still have individual successes. When I get a raise, it will be my doing. If I make extra side income, it will be because of my efforts.
But guess who is there cheering me on through everything? That hottie G, of course.
And I guess that’s where I can find closure in this partial loss of independence. I may be losing my individual net worth, but I’m gaining a lot more – a lifelong partner who will support me in my future successes, but will also contribute success of his own (and money, of course … that’s all I’m really after, you know. 😉 ).
Did you feel (or do you think you would feel) a slight loss of independence when (if) you combined finances?