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8 Ways to Spot a Spiritual Narcissist And How To Deal With Them

Spiritual narcissists, like other narcissists, believe they are above others, though their beliefs are rooted in spiritual or religious dominance. They use these beliefs to manipulate, humiliate, or dominate others while presenting a “holier than thou” attitude. And just like other narcissists, dealing with them can be challenging and toxic. Here is how to spot them and what to do once you’re in their company. 

They do not make mistakes 

Spiritual narcissists live according to their beliefs, and one of them is that they are the chosen ones. That’s why they do not think they are capable of making mistakes. If they “stray” from their path, they might say their faith “told” them to do things differently. Instead of admitting they were wrong about anything, they might turn the conversation into something like, “Look how enlightened I am!”

They are the chosen ones 

Spiritual narcissists are “special”; therefore, they are better than you. This makes it easy for them to justify their mistakes and treat others poorly. After all, they are the “chosen ones,” so you should obey and listen, even be grateful that you are in the presence of such an “enlightened” group. 

Faith over science 

Their beliefs are the ultimate knowledge and key to the universe. Instead of science and doctors, spiritual narcissists are choosing gurus, “leaders,” or, in the most extreme cases, even “god” to guide them through any crisis, including medical. This behavior is especially dangerous if they are parents since children’s lives can be endangered due to the parents’ beliefs that often go against scientific evidence and facts. 

They will use their religion to punish you 

If you noticed that dealing with a spiritual narcissist seems like dealing with a cult leader, you are right. Their beliefs are better than yours, and if you dare to contradict them or even question their faith, you could become a victim of narcissistic rage. Narcissistic rage is triggered when a narcissist experiences “narcissistic injury,” which can be verbal and physical, depending on how close you are. The closer you are to the narcissist, the more fury they tend to unleash. 

They do not have conversations 

Instead of discussing, spiritual narcissists are on a mission to convince you that they are on the path of righteousness. They have a great way of turning any potential conversation into a spiritual lecture, with one goal: to beat you into submission. Sometimes, they are direct in their approach. Other times, they are not going to damn you to hell but manipulate you into challenging your beliefs. 

They ooze toxic positivity 

By telling you something like “Look at how great I am doing,” they will offer to make your life just as “perfect.” Their obsession with avoiding negative feelings and disobedience is exhausting, so they feed themselves on false positivity, which includes a series of toxic spiritual habits. You will be put in a difficult spot: you will start seeing everything in their light or be labeled as a “negative” person. 

Know-It-Alls

The spiritual ego can cause plenty of damage since spiritual narcissists have all the answers. They often display grandiosity while ignoring your fact-based knowledge. They inflate their need for admiration by giving you insight into divine knowledge, whether you asked for it or not. 

Judge and jury 

While religion, if taught right, teaches us to forgive and not to judge others, with spiritual narcissism, things are vastly different. Their need to prove to be above others pushes them to compare themselves to others and judge them. Similarly, this spiritual ego cannot truly forgive or express empathy. 

Dealing with a spiritual narcissist

Talking to a narcissist can be emotionally draining, so you need to set clear boundaries. If someone close to you is suddenly “enlightened,” congratulate them but make it explicit that you have no further interest in their further development. While dealing with a narcissist, you should practice self-compassion because they are notoriously known for taking advantage of others. 

Get support 

Dealing with narcissists requires a village. But if you add a divine element to it, things get even more challenging. You might get excluded because your beliefs do not align with them. This can be painful if you were close to that person before they found their “meaning.” You need a solid group of trusted people to keep your boundaries in check while going through a sense of loss of the person they once were. 

Keep your faith 

We all believe in something, otherworldly or not. While dealing with the wrath of a spiritual narcissist, you should keep your faith, or whatever drives you, without getting into arguments. Avoiding confrontation is vital because some spiritual narcissists could harm you if they get too agitated. If you have to, listen to them, but be mindful and remind yourself of what matters to you, whether it be God, music, science, etc. 

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