money management

Do you draw the line at going dutch?

New York 1

Good morning Loves. I have a question to ask, would you go out with someone a second time if they didn’t pay for your first date?  My friend Sherri just went out with a guy who not only asked for two checks at dinner but he also made her pay for her own movie ticket.  Sherri said she really liked the man and they had a great time on their date, up until he asked her to pay for her own meal.  When it comes to paying for a date are you old fashioned and want the man to pay or are you new aged and want to go dutch?

Should the man always pay for the first date?

Sherri hasn’t been on a first date in a while.  She didn’t say anything to the man about paying her half of the check because she wasn’t sure if everyone paying for themselves on a date was the new norm.  When it came to the movie she was surprised the man didn’t offer to pay for her ticket.  Actually insulted was the word she used.  So here’s the question, would you be offended if someone didn’t offer to pay for your first date?

I haven’t been on a first date in a long time but I don’t think I would call a man back if he didn’t offer to pay for our first date.  Maybe I’m just old fashioned but if a man asks me out I would assume the night would be his treat.  I might also take it as a sign of my likability if a man didn’t pick up the check on our date. I would think he wasn’t into me because if he did like me he would want to impress me and pay for the meal, right?

Who should pay for the wedding?

When couples get married who should pay for the wedding?  Traditionally the parent’s of the bride pay for the wedding, but maybe both sides of the family should split the bill.  I think that would be fair.  If you are married who paid for your wedding?

If my boyfriend and I were to get married I think our parents (both sides) would offer to cover the costs.  After 15 years of dating our parents would be so happy my boyfriend finally popped the question they would be more than happy to pay for our wedding.

Living happily ever after

When you are married how do you share expenses?  My boyfriend and I live together and we split all living expenses as well as all big purchases right down the middle.  This is probably because our incomes are approximately the same.  If our earnings were drastically different I think we would split our everyday living expenses as a percentage of our income.

If I earned more money than my boyfriend I wouldn’t expect to pay for everything and I wouldn’t expect him to do the same if he earned more money than me.  I am a true believer in people paying their own way.  I think both people in a relationship should contribute equally to a relationship.  But again maybe that’s just me.

Photo by tahnyakristina  


  • I think guys should pay for the first couple of dates at least although I liked it when the girl at least offered to help. I would then say “no thank you I have it” but I always thought it was nice if they offered. If we have dinner and then move to the bar maybe the girl could buy me a drink which is nice but for sure guy offers to pay for the first date.

    I think weddings should be paid for by the couple but it’s nice if either set of parents is in a position to offer to help. My in-laws gave us 5k and my dad paid for the rehearsal dinner. I appreciated their generosity.

    I pay all of the bills for my family now. I have been married 10 years and we have an 8 and 7 year old. My wife quit her job to stay home with them when they were born and now she works about 15 hours a week which is just enough for her to have some spending money.

  • When we got married our parents paid almost all our wedding expenses, we married very young and we were so broke before. I’m on your side, for me, in a relationship should contribute equally to a relationship. Everything has to be fair so that the relationship would stay long and strong.

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