Future faking involves making grand future promises without intending to keep them, a manipulative tactic in relationships to hold onto control and keep the other person hopeful and engaged. Wondering if you’re being played? Look out for these 12 unmistakable signs.
The Isolation Game
One darker move in the future faker’s playbook is trying to cut you off from your support squad, all while selling you on the dream of an exclusive future just for the two of you. It’s a sly way to tighten their grip on the relationship and cut off your escape routes to fresh perspectives.
Discrepancy Between Words and Actions
A clear indication of future faking is when your partner’s actions consistently fail to align with their words. They may speak of a future filled with love and togetherness, yet their day-to-day actions suggest a reluctance to commit to the smallest steps that would turn these dreams into reality.
A Rollercoaster of Commitment
Ever notice how your partner’s all in one minute and cold the next? This inconsistency in commitment is a telltale sign of a future faker at work, showing their promises aren’t built on anything real.
Turning Up the Heat When Doubts Creep In
When they catch wind of your doubts or see you’re thinking about leaving, someone who’s been feeding you future fantasies might go all in, ramping up their promises big time. This move is all about sparking your hope and getting you to double down on the relationship.
Rapid Pace of the Relationship
Future fakers often propel the relationship forward at an unnaturally rapid pace, making sweeping promises early on. This whirlwind progression is designed to sweep you off your feet, preventing you from noticing the lack of foundational substance in the relationship.
Avoidance of Concrete Planning
When attempts are made to delve into the details of these grand plans, a future faker will often deflect, offering vague responses or promising to “sort out the details later.” This evasion of concrete planning shows their lack of commitment to the envisioned future.
A Pattern of Disappointment
Future faking sets up a cycle of hope and disappointment. Each unfulfilled promise chips away at the trust and stability of the relationship, leaving one feeling uncertain about the solidity of the partnership.
Grand Promises Without Follow-Through
The cornerstone of future faking is the making of extravagant plans and promises that never materialize. Whether it’s talk of future holidays, moving in together, or grand life plans, the disconnect between words and action is stark.
The future faked landscape is rich in promises but barren in execution.
Sudden Shifts in Long-Term Goals
Future fakers often change their long-term goals and plans with alarming frequency. One day, the plan might involve moving to a new city together, and the next, it’s something entirely different. These sudden shifts indicate a lack of genuine commitment to any future scenario.
Chasing the Now, Ignoring the Future
Future fakers are all about the thrill of the moment, dodging any real moves toward a future together or solid commitments. This tactic cleverly shifts focus from their true intentions, keeping things light and on the surface.
Over-Reliance on the Relationship for Happiness
An individual engaging in future faking may position the relationship as the sole source of happiness and fulfillment. This over-reliance serves to bind you closer to the promised future, making it harder to recognize the absence of genuine progress towards it.
Pulling the Emotional Strings
Emotional manipulation is a favorite trick among future fakers. They play on your guilt, shame, or fears, making you cling tighter to a future that’s never going to happen.
It’s all about hooking you with what you hope for or fear the most.
Creating a Cycle of Dependence
Future faking can lead to a cycle of emotional dependence, where the promise of a happy future is used to keep the partner hooked despite ongoing dissatisfaction and unmet needs.
This dependence undermines the partner’s ability to advocate for their needs and may deter them from leaving the relationship, even when it’s clearly not fulfilling.
