After spending years as caretakers while working and likely being in the mom role, many older women prefer solitude over romantic relationships. This could be a path to self-discovery, a desire to focus on a career, or the ghost of past relationships. Regardless, there are many reasons why women chose to be single, despite facing stigma and going against what was once the social norm.
1. Past experiences
Even science backs up the theory that marriage is more beneficial to men than women. Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, famously declared that men should get married but not women. But there is more. Once a woman has had a number of relationships, she might find that she treasures her peace more than having a romantic companion. It might be a self-preservation tactic, but it could also be as simple as prioritizing yourself over a partner.
2. Newfound freedom
Once the children grow up, women can discover new passions and hobbies and ditch the mom role that was part of their identities for many years. It can be exciting to explore what else is out there, from spending more time with your friends to traveling and focusing primarily on yourself. Many women will go on dates, but not all will find that it no longer gives them the same satisfaction as it did in their youth.
3. Career goals
Older women whose kids are adults and don’t require full-time attention finally have the time and energy to dedicate themselves fully to their careers. A woman in her 50s could choose a career path to secure financial stability in the upcoming years, allowing her to live her golden years any way she chooses. Also, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment many women could not find time to experience in their younger days.
4. Prioritizing friendships
Some women choose to spend time with their friends, travel, go to brunches, and relive their youth without the pressures of getting married and giving birth. This is a time for other relationships to blossom, and while a partner can enrich life, many women will choose their friends for their new adventures. One reason lies in a sense of freedom that they never had in previous relationships.
5. Changes in taste
Some older women will not compromise and would rather stay alone than repeat previous dating patterns. As we age, we become less tolerant while learning to appreciate time and our personal space more. That’s why older women are less likely to settle, and since they are already on their own, this is no longer a strange or frightening territory.
6. Living in new normal
According to one Pew research, only 15 percent of widowed or divorced women express the desire to get married again. Instead, these women found ways to fulfill their time by setting new goals, finding new non-romantic relationships, focusing on health and well-being, and finding their identities outside the marriage. Some are simply hopeless romantics who have had the love of their lives and now want to focus on themselves.
7. The fear of feeling trapped or losing freedom
If a woman spends significant time on her own, losing her independence can be a frightening thought. Many older women are so used to doing things their way that staying single is a small price to pay compared to changing their ways to find space for a new partner. Her life revolves around her daily routines, and it is well-known that we are less adaptable as we age.
8. Enjoying solitude
Though we often use solitude and loneliness interchangeably, the terms differ vastly. Solitude is a state of being alone where you provide yourself with excellent and sufficient company – yourself. You can be sociable, but once you come home, you want to read a book, do yoga, sip tea, and catch up with your online friends. Many older women and some men find that a romantic partner would only disrupt this sense of calm. Some might say it is selfish, but as we get older, we tend to care less about what others think.
9. Growing older and wiser
Many older women needed decades to find time to continue self-growth and to do more of the things they always wanted to. We have already established that as we age, we stop caring about other people’s opinions, which is why many women are ready to tackle new hobbies, learn new skills, and continue the path of self-discovery and self-love. By learning to enrich lives on their own, women lose the need for a partner.
10. Financial independence
One of the most critical aspects of growing older alone lies in the financial aspect. If a woman can provide enough for herself and her needs, then dating is optional. A woman with financial independence is genuinely free to spend as she wants to, to do what she desires without financial compromises. Orion’s survey found that 42 percent of married couples argue about money, and older women merely choose peace over romance.
11. Dating pool is not satisfying
Some older women cannot find a proper companion, so they prioritize themselves instead of dwelling on it. Dating in your 20s and in your 60s is vastly different, but not everyone wants to compromise. As women age, they tend to learn their value, so they seek men who will respect and see them as equals. In addition, dating appears to be more emotional for women. When the dating pool is that narrow, many reject the idea of romance and replace it with other fulfilling activities, people, and places.
12. Single at heart
Some people are not the relationship kind. It is not a choice but as simple as being drawn to a single life. Single people are, e on average, more connected to others. Even people who went through relationships and marriages never felt as much satisfaction as they did when they were free. For many women, it is challenging to accept that they are not bad at relationships. Instead, they prefer to be single, and that’s a good enough reason not to chase a relationship.
