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17 Signs You’re Definitely Dealing with a Gaslighter

Gaslighting messes with your sense of reality. If you’ve been second-guessing your memories or the stuff you’ve seen with your own eyes, you might be dealing with a gaslighter. Wondering if you’re being played? Here are 17 signs to help you figure it out.

Your Feelings Are Always “Too Much”

Express your emotions, and a gaslighter will make you feel like you’re overreacting. This tactic serves to dismiss your feelings and make you question your emotional responses.

They Project Their Faults onto You

Ever been accused of something you know deep down is not you but them? Gaslighters are experts at projection, accusing you of their own behaviors to throw you off balance.

They Deny Your Reality

Imagine sharing a vivid experience or feeling, only to be met with outright denial that it ever happened. This isn’t just disagreeing; it’s a strategic denial of your experiences, aiming to plant seeds of doubt about your perception and memory.

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

Gaslighters are masters of deception, spinning webs of lies so elaborate you might just fall into believing them. They can lie with such conviction that you find yourself questioning what you know to be true.

Their Actions and Words Don’t Match

They say one thing and do another, leaving you in a constant state of confusion. This inconsistency is one of the clearest signs of gaslighting, aimed to undermine your sense of reality.

They Twist and Reframe Conversations

A gaslighter can twist a conversation so skillfully that you end up apologizing for something they did. Suddenly, you’re the one trying to make amends for their wrongdoing.

You’re Always the One to Blame

In the world according to a gaslighter, it’s always your fault. This blame game aims to wear you down, making you feel responsible for things outside your control.

They Try to Isolate You

By casting doubt on the motives of your friends and family, gaslighters attempt to isolate you. This isolation makes you more dependent on them and their distorted version of reality.

They Question Your Mental Health

Suggesting you’re losing your grip on reality not only undermines your confidence but also makes you hesitant to speak out for fear of not being believed.

You Feel Trapped and Alone

A telltale sign of being gaslighted is feeling trapped in the relationship, surrounded by a pervasive sense of loneliness, as if no one else could understand.

They Spread Rumors and Gossip About You

By spreading rumors or suggesting to others that you’re unreliable or unstable, gaslighters aim to undermine your credibility, making it harder for you to find support when you need it.

They Suggest You’re Not Enough

Subtle comments on you aimed to erode your self-esteem are part of the game, making you feel like you’re always falling short. These remarks are often hidden under humor or fake concern, making you question your worth and abilities, and leaving you with a persistent feeling of inadequacy.

They Claim Superiority 

Gaslighters often position themselves as the authority on your thoughts and feelings, suggesting they know better than you what you should think or feel.

They Use Confusion as a Weapon

Maintaining your state of imbalance is a crucial tactic in their strategy. By ensuring that you’re in doubt about your own perceptions and reality, you become less inclined and less equipped to mount any form of challenge against their manipulative actions.

They Throw in Positive Reinforcement to Confuse You

Just when you think you’ve had enough, they’ll throw you a compliment or do something nice. This unpredictable reward system creates a sense of uncertainty, making you doubt your decision to stand up for yourself.

They Make Empty Promises

Gaslighters may also offer promises of change or expressions of love that are starkly contradicted by their actions. This disparity between what they say and what they do is aimed to confuse even more. 

They Make You Apologize for Their Behavior

Twisting situations to make it seem like their behavior is a response to yours, gaslighters often have you apologizing for what they’ve done.

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