Love means…putting up with each other’s obsessions

It’s that time again. Football season.

Otherwise known as “the season I become a temporary widow.”

You see, my husband has a mistress. Or an addiction. Really a combination of both. We’ve been together for 5 years, and I only finally came to accept it last year.

He is a diehard, scary-obsessive football fanatic.

Not fan…Fanatic.

This took a lot of getting used to.

Let me sketch out a typical day for him during the NFL season:

 The holy football Sunday ritual

  • He wakes up around 9:00 to catch up on the latest ESPN updates and make sure all of his 5 (that’s right, 5) fantasy league rosters are in shape. (This is not understandable to me, because weekends in my mind are made for sleeping until noon at least.)
  • He puts on his jersey because it is bad luck if he doesn’t.
  • He plays a game of Madden on his PS3 to psyche himself up for the day.
  • He gets things ready for a taco lunch before the 1:00 games starts, so that he has to be away from the TV for the smallest time possible to make lunch. (Did I mention he DVR’s all the games? So the time doesn’t really matter. But whatever. I don’t understand any of this.)
  • He checks his fantasy rosters one more time in case one of his players has gotten injured since the last time checked.
  • He watches the 1:00 games. Yes, games. Because, with the power of DVR and a subscription to the RedZone channel, he can simultaneously watch every single game that is on. He will flip back and forth between whatever is the most interesting play that moment so fast it makes me dizzy.
  • If for some reason there is not a good play on that very second, he will switch the TV over to a new Madden game, which he then plays on and off in several-second doses throughout the day.
  • Taco lunch. (This part of football Sundays I am 100% OK with.)
  • 4:00 games, with the same Madden breaks if things get dull.
  • 7:00 games.
  • Some other sort of yummy and totally bad for me meal like pizza, burgers, or chicken fingers. (Again, no complaints here.)
  • I fall asleep at some point before the game are over. Eventually he joins me in bed.
  • Repeat this ritual on Monday and Thursday nights as needed, resulting in a total of sometimes 3 days a week where I am a widow while my husband revels—not just enjoys, re-vels—in his beloved obsession.

Let’s just say it took a while to get used to this.

The importance of “me” time (even if I totally don’t get it)

We’re a pretty cutesy couple. Some people might call it sickening. We spend a ton of time together, we don’t really fight, and when we do fight we can’t stay mad at each other for very long because it makes us sad. (See? Sickening.)

But the first fight we have ever had (and the biggest fights since) was because of The Hubby’s football obsession.


I mean, apart from the fact that I’m just not that into football, there is nothing I love so much that I will spend an entire day, from morning to night, doing nothing but living and breathing that thing. Especially not when I have a cute spouse who wants to spend at least a few minutes hanging out with me. (In his defense, he always asks if I want to watch with him, but I just can’t do it. Ten minutes max and my eyes glaze over.)

At first, I just couldn’t understand how he could be SO obsessed with something.  I was also—I’ll admit it—jealous.  If I ever spent an entire day watching HGTV, reading home décor magazines, re-covering my throw pillows, and simultaneously playing a game where I redecorated a virtual house, he would give me the sad pouty eyes and ask when we’d get a chance to hang out.

But you know what?  I think if I really loved home decorating as much as he L-O-V-Es football, he’d be happy to let me do it. Because (once I got over the jealousy thing) I finally saw that he’s like a little kid on Christmas morning every Sunday. Football makes him so happy, I just can’t hold that against him…even if it makes absolutely no sense to me.

That’s part of what relationships are about, right? Letting the other person have their “things” while you have your “things,” because that makes your collected things seem more special? I get that now.

Plus, Sundays have become a great “me” day now that I’ve accepted the other lady in our marriage. I have all kinds of fun on Sundays totally unsupervised.  🙂

What hobbies do you or your significant other have that the other person just doesn’t understand? How do you set aside time for “me” time?




photo credit:  ajbrusteinthreesixfive

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    • Yay! Another football widow! (Or soon to be widow.)

      It definitely took me some time to get used to it, but now I love my Sundays! I got all sorts of stuff done yesterday (including some relaxing!)

  • Just thank your lucky stars your don’t have PSL and season ticket… I am soooooo sick of going to the games, and spending tons of money on this stupid football crap, we have 7 jerseys of every new player to come along in our closet, it is around $600.00 worth of stupid football jerseys. Uggg, makes me depressed thinking about all the money we spend, for his one passion.. that I get drug along to see.
    He told me if we can win a superbowl he would sell his tickets,, oh please football gods, allow us to win a superbowl and SOON! lol

    • You poor soul! I can’t even imagine. At least I get my Sundays (and Mondays, and Thursdays) to myself.

      And I have to say personally, I think football on TV is SO much more interesting than in person. At least on TV, you get commentary and discussion during the plays. (It’s actually taught me a thing or two!) In person, it’s just…silence. And cold chilly weather and stupid drunken men all around you.

      My thoughts are with you, girl. What’s your husband’s team? It would be fun for me to have someone to “root” for this season (for your own freedom!) 🙂

    • Aw, you poor thing! But I bet you found all sorts of more interesting things to focus your time on, huh? (And I’m with you on the sports thing…I can watch them, but I just don’t “get it,” you know?)

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