If you follow me on twitter, you may have noticed my repeated tweets about how sick I was over the past couple days from eating McDonald’s breakfast. Here is the offender in question:
Yeah, it may look appetizing in that pic, but it’s not so appetizing after what I’ve experienced over the past couple of days.
Here’s how things shook out after I ate the overpriced breakfast sandwich ($2.50 – really?) on Monday morning:
- Ate the sandwich but almost immediately knew something was off, as evidenced by this tweet.
- Felt generally disgusted and off for the rest of the morning.
- Around 12:30, was visited by the lovely nausea rollercoaster.
- Rode that ride for about 3 hours.
- After about 3 hours, I felt all the blood leave my face and knew it was go time.
- Getting sick at work is probably one of the top ten worst experiences that I’ve ever had in my life.
- High point of the day was when Lloyd was able to drive me home since I could barely function at that point.
- Arrived home where I spent the next 3 hours in the bathroom. NOT primping.
- This is where it gets good: after the bathroom experience is over (thank you, Lord), something inhabits my muscles causing extreme pain from my back and shoulders to my calves and feet. Yep, top to bottom extreme muscle pain. WTF? I’ve had aches with the flu before, but with this I felt liked I’d been drilled by an 18-wheeler semi about 10 times and lived to tell about it.
- Fever of 101.5. Oh, joy.
- Unable to sleep due to extreme pain. Unable to take Tylenol due to fear of spending more time in the bathroom.
- Even though I’ve clearly – very thoroughly – emptied my insides, my stomach insists on cramping like I’ve got 10 periods going on. Trying to sip as much water/Gatorade as physically possible to prevent dehydration which I can feel creeping on due the dull ache coming from my kidneys.
- Everything starts to mysteriously subside around noon the day after. What I’m left with is a weakness so bad it takes effort to just stand up and nausea that forces me to give up eating completely.
- That brings us up to date and I’m still enjoying those last two side effects of nausea and weakness.
- I had some soup last night and rode the nausea rollercoaster for the rest of the night. So, yep, still not eating.
- I’ve lost 4 pounds.
- See above.
- I’m out $2.50
What McDonald’s Has To Say:
I called up ‘ole McDonald’s today to inform them of this tragic incident.
The manager on duty took my name and information and repeatedly asked me if I had gone to the doctor. I repeatedly told her “no”. I am sure she was insinuating that her precious breakfast sandwiches were not the culprit of my sickness and instead I had some sort of summer stomach flu that goes around all too often. Yes, the stomach flu could be an option. But, I felt 100% fine before the damn Bacon, Egg, and Cheese biscuit. In fact, I went for a 3 mile run that morning and was feeling fantastic after that. Almost immediately after I ingested the bacteria-laced sandwich was when I started to feel like I was going to die.
So, back to the McDonald’s manager. She tells me that she’s never dealt with this type of situation before (which is odd, because so many people I’ve talked to about mysituation have said they’ve experienced something similar from the restaurant) and told me to hold on while she consulted with her Mickey D’s posse.
Well, apparently, McDonald’s doesn’t have a” “Hold” button on their phone because I managed to hear a couple juicy sound bites from the posse’s infinite wisdom.
- “Did she go to the doctor?” (again, NO!)
- “Then, how does she know that she’s sick?” (Seriously?!!)
After the brilliant advice that the manager’s posse bestowed unto her, she returned back to me on the phone.
She told me that she’d have to send my information to the corporate office and that they’d call me back soon with some more questions (I’m assuming along the lines of “have you been to the doctor?”).
- Never visit McDonald’s ever, ever, EVER again. Or any fast food establishment for that matter. (Chipotle does not count.)
- Since I’ve just cut my 1-2X per year visit to McDonald’s down to 0X per year, I just saved myself $5. Which over the course of my lifetime might add up to about $350. And if I invest that little nugget into high-yield savings accounts, well, then who knows what the future could hold for me!