relationships spending

Saying Peace Out to Frugality (For My Wedding, Anyway)

As I wind down this wedding planning thing, two things are starting to happen:

  1. I’m telling myself more and more that everything is a “one time thing” and it’s okay to spend some money on it.
  2. I’m getting less and less patient with frugality.

I pretty much have the entire wedding planned at this point.  Aside from a few minor details, the only things left to do mostly involve shopping for myself.  I need to buy the rest of my bridal accessories, dresses for showers and the rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon attire (like white bathing suits bedazzled with my new name – Mrs. G).

Early on in this wedding planning process, I worked hard to be frugal, to cut costs where I could, to ask for discounts, to take on DIY projects to save money.  After 8 months of that part-time gig, I’m spent.

I’m done working.  I’m engaged.  I want to relax and enjoy this time of my life.  I do feel like I’ve wasted a lot of this year focusing on doing a great job of wedding planning.  It just sucks because you’re supposed to spend your engagement love drunk and giddy.  While I am all of those things, I’ve mostly been busy and stressed.  So, I think my quest to pull off every detail under budget is coming to a close.

Frugality is great and all, but it can be extremely exhausting.  I could have hired more people to help me, to trim my to-do list of things like “research, design address, and mail 175 save-the-date magnets”, so I could have added things like “act stupidly in love to everyone you announce your engagement to instead of rolling your eyes over the stress of planning when you announce your engagement”.  Yeah, that would have been fun.  But, then I would have spent several grand more on this one-day thang, which would’ve forced us to delay our house-buying plan, which would have forced us to hold off on having kids for a couple more months, and on and on.  But, such is the eternal quarrel between frugality and spending lavishly, right?  Spend more and delay the next expense or be frugal and everything goes according to plan.

Anyways, as I was perusing Victoria’s Secret’s (what is her secret, anyway?) Website yesterday, I filled my cart with tons of over-priced white beach attire.  I debated ransacking the Internet for better prices on white bikinis and white beach dresses and white sequined flip-flips, but then I figured – to hell with it.  Even though I still haven’t pushed the submit button on my Vicky C’s order, I probably will.  Sure, I could look around for better prices, for discount sales, for free shipping, but I’m not going to.

I’ve given a damn good effort.  I’ve saved a lot of money so far and we are going to come in right around budget when it’s all said and done.  There are a few loose ends that I need to tie up, but I’m not going to go frugal on them, I’m just going to get them done.

I plan to spend my last four months as Amber Nash (*tear*, I love you, oh last name of Nash and I vow to name my first-born son after you …. maybe) love drunk and giddy.  It’s been a good ride, frugality, but it’s time for me to say Peace Out.

So … peace out. 😉


  • Has it seriously been 8 months????

    Here’s to your impending nuptials!

    I have to admit, I’ve never even been to a wedding – the mind boggles at some of the expenses. Clothes for rehearsal dinner? Would have never crossed my mind.

  • I totally remember that feeling. As the wedding day approaches, it gets stronger and stronger. And guess what? You are right. It is ok!

    Only 4 months left? Eeeep! Enjoy it!

  • Haha enjoy the treat to yourself! Weddings are stressful things to plan, so enjoy it and relax! My pre-wedding splurge was a day at the spa with a swedish massage, pedicures, the whole thing.. 100% worth the unusual expense after bringing my wedding in under budget 🙂

  • Very cool Amber. It seems like you’ve reached the point where you’re just tired of this stuff. At this point in your wedding planning journey, I doubt that it matters much. When you were booking the big things (venue, photos, etc) you were pretty focused on being frugal, and it probably paid off quite nicely (to the tune of hundreds or thousands of dollars). At this point, you’re buying smaller things where the savings wont be quite as great (how different IS the price of bathing suits, anyway?). So sure, you’re going to pay 45 for the suit instead of 42, but it’s only $3. Enjoy the last few months before the big day.

  • Yes, searching around for deals is exhausting! Sometimes it’s just easier to get what you want where you want it and just be done with it. I say place that V.S. order immediately!!

  • I remember getting about halfway through the wedding planning process and wishing desperately that we’d eloped. It’s so much fun watching wedding shows on TV, but when it comes down to making a million decisions about napkin colors and centerpiece arrangements, even the best of us lose our starry-eyed lovestruckness and deteriorate into feeling stressed.

    A wedding really is a once-in-a-lifetime exception to the frugality rule. You can still keep overall costs low and not go crazy, but there’s no point in beating yourself up over not haggling every penny. Don’t break the bank, make it YOUR day and the memory you want to have, and you’re good. And don’t forget to stop, breathe, and *enjoy* the experience! Sounds like you’re on the right track for this. 🙂

  • Honestly, I don’t feel too bad about spending a little extra on my wedding. I was super super cheap when I got married the first time and did a bunch of stuff myself. The day ended up being stressful and not really what I had envisioned. This time I splurged for a caterer, DJ and all the other professional people that will make my day much more relaxing.

  • My wedding is in 2 weeks. When we got engaged 10 months ago I was Miss Budgeter! I was AWESOME—I was GETTING the best deals and I researched the hell out of everything. Right now? Just throw it on the credit card and if I have to use a little money out of my savings account, WHATEVER. I haven’t bought anything ridiculous but I’m like you—I bought a Tommy Bahama swimsuit and could have found a cheaper one but OH WELL. It was there, it was easy, and it was cute.

  • Somehow, I had the exact opposite experience, and wound up feeling increasingly frugal as our wedding neared. Nevertheless, I was punch drunk with love the entire time as well.

    My general philosophy surrounding our wedding was ‘if I wouldn’t spend $X on that for something OTHER than a wedding, then I won’t spend that much on it now.’ The result was that we just plain skipped a TON of things that are typically associated with weddings. In most cases, I didn’t even bother trying to negotiate or seek out a better deal, I just chucked it altogether.

    That said, even though we only spent about $3,500 on our wedding, I STILL look back and see ways that we could have cut expenses even further without sacrificing anything that actually mattered to us.

    Ah well, hindsight is 20/20!

  • I can be a frugal up to a point. I’ve tried being too frugal in the past, it didn’t last very long. So now I just pick and choose at the things that I do and don’t want to be frugal with. But yeah definitely try to enjoy your engagement, while life isn’t all roses even for engaged people, you most definitely should be able to enjoy this time of your life.

    I’ve never been engaged nor married. But from what I’ve read and what people have told me, it seems to be one of the most inflated industries around. I even read the “average” wedding was around 30k….

Leave a Comment